Photographer's Child Syndrome: Holiday Bloopers with my own kids!

One of the things that photographers who are also parents hear all the time from others is, “Oh, you must have so many amazing photos of your own kids!”  And while I’m lucky that I have been able to capture a lot of great portraits of my little ones over the past 5.5 years, there are also a lot of…. shall we say… bloopers.  

My little angry elf! ;o)

In the photography world, we have a phrase that is shared often among photographers when talking about taking photos of their own children.  We call it “Photographer’s Child Syndrome.”  Let me explain.

It’s a different ballgame when it’s mom behind the camera.  And when your toddler only wants to be held by mom, that means mom can’t get a picture of the toddler because they will just cry until mom picks them up.  Or when your older child enjoys practicing all sorts of silly smiles and knows all of your tricks already that would get a natural smile or laugh, then you’ll only capture weird expressions on his face.  

I wanted to share this blog post today to show the funny (though sometimes exasperating!) side of being a mom & a photographer.  These are my holiday portraits of Grayson and Adelaide.  And while yes, I do have a lot of great pictures of my little ones, I also have these funny moments to look back on. Grayson tried sooooo hard to be patient with his little sister, and the last photo in the collage below makes me laugh every time where he’s like, “Enough already!” and gets up and runs off!

P.S.  You can bet that the crying Santa picture and the crying sibling one made it on our holiday cards this year!

P.P.S.  My sweet girl was literally THE ONLY CHILD ALL DAY to cry at our Santa sessions in the studio.  All because she wanted to be held by me, the photographer.  Not a single other baby or toddler cried.  So, I guess we’re just lucky like that that it was our own little girl!

These next few I actually love, and they made it onto our holiday card this year!

The day Santa came to the studio was a whole fiasco in itself. My kids had their turn with Santa in between our other clients, and after a whole morning of happy little ones (though occasionally nervous, but never fussy!), this was what we got. The chaos of the sibling portion I can only laugh at. But the PURE MAGIC that unfolded between my son and Santa Claus made every single part of the planning and executing of these sessions worth it, times 1000.

Waiting for Santa…

Adelaide spotted him sneaking over, but Grayson still had no idea.

Such a funny moment. Both completely unaware that Santa was standing right behind them.

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When Grayson received his letter from Santa a few days before he came to the studio, the first thing Grayson told me was that we needed to bake cookies for him so that we could give him some cookies when he came to visit. My little baker LOVES helping in the kitchen, and he was thrilled to bake chocolate chip cookies for his favorite jolly fellow.

Adelaide kept her distance the rest of the time we were with Santa. She was mildly curious about painting the nutcrackers with the “magic paint,” but even that couldn’t convince her to step back onto the backdrop where Santa was sitting with her big brother. Grayson, on the other hand, had the time of his life and wore the biggest smile through every second of it!

We did take exactly one photo of Adelaide with Santa at the very end, and it lasted maybe 2 seconds.

Would you believe that ever since Santa visited us, Adelaide shouts “Studio! Studio! Ho ho ho!” every single day, running excitedly over to the studio door and asking to go downstairs to see Santa. Yep, I can’t believe it either! She’s been doing this for about 5 or 6 weeks now, and I don’t see her stopping any time soon.

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I know this blog post is different from our regular posts, and I hope you enjoyed the humor in this little series of outtakes from my sessions with my own children. Click on the heart button or leave a comment below and let me know what you think!

Our Annual 4th of July Flag Portraits | Saratoga Springs Child Photographer

I first began doing this annual portrait series in 2018 when my son was just a few months old. Every summer since, we have pulled out this American flag-inspired backdrop for some simple summertime portraits with that red-white-and-blue Americana feel.

Last summer little Adelaide was barely two weeks old when we did her portraits, and now this summer she is full of so much personality! I love that we have continued this little tradition, and it is so much fun to see how Grayson and Adelaide have grown.

This cute gingham dress that she is wearing is actually THE EXACT SAME DRESS (and size!) that she wore last July in these photos. She was swimming in it last summer with her tiny newborn frame, and it fits more like a top now, but I was so glad to be able to pull it on over her head for a couple more portraits.

I love that we captured Adelaide standing like this. She is right on the verge of taking her first steps, and we know it’ll happen any day now!

And Grayson’s sweet personality! Looking back through the past six summers of July 4th portraits is melting this mama’s heart at just how quickly they change.

Baby Starr: Adelaide's First Birthday Cake Smash with Giant Floral ONE Letters

Our sweet girl is officially ONE, and it’s hard to believe that we’ve had her in our lives for a whole year now. Time truly did fly by at warp speed, and I feel like we just brought her home from the hospital and our son was cuddling her on the couch and saying in his tiny little voice, “Hi, Adelaide. Hi, honey. I love you!”

For Adelaide’s first birthday portraits, I wanted to do a classic floral cake smash with a twist. I purchased these 3-foot tall 3D metal letters and filled them with greenery, blush, and peach florals, with a few pops of anemones. I absolutely love how it turned out (and I can’t wait to use these letters in so many more cake smashes — check out another one here with BALLOONS inside the letters!).

This backdrop was truly a labor of love. The letters were handmade by an artisan in the Ukraine, and shipping took a few extra weeks to arrive. I needed a truly ridiculous amount of garlands to fill them with, and then I had so much fun adjusting the peach and white peonies, pink hydrangeas, white roses, and anemones to get them **just right** in the final setup.

It was all worth it, and our girl LOVED her cake smash!

Big brother Grayson wanted to help me in the studio. He has always loved being a part of sessions, and this one was no exception because it involved his baby sister and CAKE. He brings out the biggest smiles in her, and some of my very favorite portraits from this session are the ones where she is grinning and laughing at her big brother just over my shoulder.

I was sooooo happy when she leaned into her cake to take a big bite out of it! And I just adore those itty bitty fingers holding on to the frosting on the side of the cake.

Just look at how Grayson is making Adelaide smile in the one below! I love the bond that these two are developing.

Of course, baby girl absolutely loved her bathtub splash at the end. She didn’t want to get out of the tub when it was over! We had so much fun doing this session, and I can’t wait to frame a few portraits and add them to an album for our ONE YEAR OLD daughter!

A Celebration of Adelaide's First Year: My Favorite Baby Portraits

Our sweet baby girl turns ONE this week, and I can’t even believe that a whole 365 days have gone by since her arrival. Adelaide is an absolute ray of sunshine that brings so much joy to our lives, and we love this girl to pieces!

Of course I’ve gotten all sentimental going back through her portraits from the past year, marveling at how quickly she has grown, and ooooohhhh-ing and aaaaahhhh-ing over her perfect, tiny little features.

As a second time parent, this first year with our daughter feels a lot different than the first year with our son felt. We know a lot more about parenting, so we are wayyyyyy more relaxed about a lot of the baby stuff. We’re constantly juggling work-life-kids in a truly impossible balance, but we’re being very intentional about slowing down and really savoring these moments because they are sooooo sweet and we’re fully aware of just how fast they go by.

Today, I’m sharing some of my favorite portraits from her first year. I may not have used by big camera as much around the house for our day-to-day lives as I did during my son’s first year, so all of our lifestyle photos are on my phone and are getting turned into a photo album soon, but these are some of my faves from her arrival, sessions that I trusted other photographers to capture, and my studio!

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Our sweet little Adelaide was born 6 days ahead of her due date thanks to a scheduled induction. We had a smooth, easy delivery, and I’ll never forget how empowering I felt in that room with the all-female team supporting me (& Jeff) — our midwife, a pregnant nurse, and one other nurse who also happened to be there for Grayson’s arrival, too. It was an incredible moment of being surrounded by these amazing, encouraging women, and such a special way to welcome our girl to the world.

Then began all of her mini newborn sessions back home in our studio! I found it incredibly challenging to summon the energy to do her newborn portraits while recovering, taking care of her, and making sure to give enough love and attention to our son, the new big brother! Thankfully, I knew ahead of time that I wanted to prioritize the family portraits this time around, and in order to do that, I would need to hire a photographer for a full session. We went to a dream photographer on my bucket list, Saren Cassotto Photography in Connecticut. She captured the sweetest family portraits for us, and some of my favorites of Adelaide solo, too!

By Saren Cassotto Photography

By Saren Cassotto Photography

By Saren Cassotto Photography

I did finally make it into my studio with our girl, and I prioritized simple and timeless portraits with soft textures, and baby’s breath as a special nod to both my & my mother’s wedding day.

This girl’s bright blue eyes melt my heart!

Oh my goodness, I just loved this simple Christmas setup, and the rattan baby doll stroller was the perfect prop for this joyful Christmas portrait!

I started a tradition of gingerbread house portraits when Grayson was a baby, and it continued for a few years. Now it’s Adelaide’s turn! Hers will hang on the wall besides Grayson’s first year gingerbread house portrait every holiday season.

There is something so timeless about a simple, all-white setup, white outfits, and zero distractions. I love this look for documenting her first year!

I wanted to capture some cuddly mommy-and-me portraits before she turned one. Allie T. Photography captured this bond perfectly, and I love these so much!

By Allie T. Photography

We did monthly milestone portraits on this floral blanket, just like I did for Graysons first year. I can’t believe we’re all done with these milestones!

Happy birthday to our little ray of sunshine, and the happiest, smiliest baby that we are so lucky to call our own. We love you, sweet Adelaide!

Adelaide's Nursery

It’s a funny thing, welcoming a second baby into your family. With the first, you’re only going from a couple to a family, and while that is a huge change in itself, it’s a wildly different change when you’re going from a parent of one to a parent of two. Our daughter is now 8 months old, and the thing that I have said again and again to my clients who are in the same stage as we are with their second (or third!) babies is: “When you add a baby, 1 plus 1 isn’t equal to 2 anymore. It’s more like 1 plus 1 equals 7!”

Case in point? Our sweet girl’s nursery. With our first baby Grayson, I had everything in his nursery ready before we ever went to the hospital. My husband still jokes about how I made him hang up with wooden G on the wall as one of the top priorities in the days before our surprise induction. I remember taking, editing, and sharing photos of his nursery before heading to the hospital, and everything was perfectly in place waiting for our little boy to come home.

But with Baby #2, Adelaide was 5 months old before I finished hanging wall art in her bedroom, and 8 months old before I finally took photos of her nursery. Time moves at warp speed once the second baby enters the family, and priorities shift. But it was still important to me to document her nursery so that we could put it into our yearly photo album, and even though I’m taking these photos in 2023, they’ll go into our 2022 album because that is when we welcomed our girl home.

Some of my favorite things about Adelaide’s nursery are:
• the sibling portrait from our newborn session with Saren Cassotto Photography
• the gorgeous wool rug that I pined after when I saw it online last year, and then happened to find for 80% off at Homegoods on my birthday last year (which was also 2/22/22, when I was 22 weeks pregnant!)
• the needlepoint that my mom made when we were kids and that hung in our hallway growing up for years
• the crib & rocker that both of our babies have used
• the stuffed animal basket that looks like a rainbow for our rainbow baby
• the natural light that comes streaming through the windows in the morning, illuminating the bedroom in soft, white light

You know another one of the great things about taking these (much delayed) photos of the nursery? This room has a history now. It’s not just waiting in anticipation. We’ve rocked and changed our baby here, paced the squeaky floors, sung her to sleep, rolled across the rug and watched Grayson proudly hold her in the rocking chair. We’ve read books, put on lotion after bath, and FaceTimed Grandma after nap. I’ve added to the space slowly over the past year, and it now has personal touches like Adelaide’s birth announcement in a frame, her footprints on a duckling sketch, stuffed animals that have become her favorite ones of the bunch, and her photos in the frames. This room holds so much LIFE now, and I’m so happy to have documented it for us to always look back on.

4th of July Portraits Over the Years with Red, White, & Blue Backdrop

In 2018, I created this backdrop for a cake smash session. Since then, it’s become a family tradition to pull it back out and capture 4th of July portraits of my son, Grayson. Now that we have another new member of the family, it will be fun to see how they both grow each year!

Since 2018, I loved watching Grayson grow and seeing his personality evolve over the years – especially through these images. As a mom and photographer, it’s been fun to work on this series over the last 4 summers. I’m so happy that now we get to include our daughter, Adelaide, in this tradition, too. 

Since Grayson has been with me for the last few years as I’ve grown the studio, any time I get to document him is incredibly special to me. This fun summertime tradition is something we both look forward to all year long! Summer is already a great time full of family moments and traditions – so these red, white, and blue portraits are one more thing to enjoy about these hot summer months! Enjoy a peek into our family’s summertime tradition! 

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Celebrating Grayson's Third Birthday with a Mail Truck Cake Smash

Our son Grayson turned 3, and we celebrated with a cake smash in our Saratoga Springs portrait studio!

Grayson had been begging me for a cake smash for months, naturally forgetting about the two he already enjoyed for his first birthday and second birthday! He loves hearing stories about other babies smashing their cakes and he gets such a kick out of seeing their pictures on my computer and in print when I am packaging orders up for my clients. He kept telling me that he wanted to do a cake smash, so I told him that he had to help me get it ready.

We chose a mail truck theme because this little guy is obsessed with vehicles. While school buses continue to be his #1 love, mail trucks are a close second. Since he was a baby he has been able to recognize the stop-and-go engine of the mail truck from many blocks away and tell us that it’s coming. He loves watching the mail get delivered and going to check the mailbox. Naturally, this was the perfect cake smash theme for our curious three year old!

Grayson loves helping me set up for other people’s sessions, and he always asks to come down into the studio to get things ready when he knows a baby is coming in for their session. He loves helping me make balloon garlands for cake smashes, so Grayson helped me make the balloon garland and all of the other decor for his session! Because of food allergies, we aren’t able to give him cake from the local bakeries and we make all of our own baked goods for him to enjoy, so my little baker even helped bake & frost his cake, too! It all came together for a perfectly adorable mail truck cake smash, and he was one happy little birthday boy!

Check out Grayson’s earlier birthday portraits here!

We always try to go for a unique theme that represents his interests and is meaningful to him and to our family’s story. Three years in and I would say we’re doing pretty well with the one-of-a-kind ideas!

A Note from the Heart: Being a Mom and a Business Owner

I’ve been a business owner for more than 8 years, but I’ve been juggling the role of business owner and mom for less than three years. And you know what? It’s really hard! For example, as I was writing this blog post I got pulled away no less than 3 times to try and settle Grayson down for his nap! The days of having 8 uninterrupted hours to get things done are long gone. Some days are far from perfect, and there’s always that guilt of “Am I doing enough?”

Enough as a mom.
Enough as a business owner.
Enough for my clients.
Enough education and growth.
Enough for my website.
Enough posts on social media.
Enough creativity.
Enough time for myself.
Enough of everythinggggggg.

And most days it feels like some areas take priority over others, but I’ve learned to accept that that is okay. I’ve learned to accept that I just want to do enough as a mom first, and then the rest will always be there.

Because THIS is what matters:

So I carve out pockets of time to work on my business and to serve my clients. I take my son into the studio when I’m setting up for sessions, testing out new lighting, or organizing props. He comes with me when I do client deliveries, and he helps put every package in the mailbox when we’re mailing something out. He even joins in for the occasional cake smash if the baby needs a friendly little face to help them feel comfortable!

Grayson watches everything I do. He welcomes every client that comes in the door of our home studio, and he befriends the little ones close to his age. He chooses which of his toys we can put in the studio’s play corner, and he has all of his favorite spots to visit and things to play with when he goes downstairs (the snack cart ranks as #1 for him!).

I’ve watched him take the little lovies and snuggle them up under my posing blankets and in the little beds and cradle props. I’ve watched him pick up his wooden toy camera and exclaim “Say cheese!” more times than I can count. I’ve watched him turn every rectangular thing he can find into a camera, looking through the “lens” and pretending to take pictures. He has a little keyboard that he pulls up next to me when I’m working on my laptop so that he can “work,” too. It’s so cute!

I love that he’s imitating everything I do. I love that he gets to grow up watching me go to work, watching me AT work, and understanding what it is I do.

He knows I take pictures of babies, and he knows that we turn them into prints and albums. He loves the photos hanging on our walls, and as any client of mine has heard me tell them, he is obsessed with our family’s photo albums.

It is so powerful for him to be able to see his mom as a business owner. To learn that women can run businesses AND be a mom. To understand that sometimes I have to go to work and that I will be with other babies and children, and doing something to make that family happy. Don’t get me wrong. I love staying home with my son and being a mom, and it’s a role I’ve dreamed of for more than thirty years! It’s wildly satisfying, but I also love going to work and growing this business, creating art and heirlooms that make others happy. It’s a balance, and I’m finally getting the hang of it!

For now, I’m soaking up moments like these ones when I’m setting up the studio for a newborn session and I turn around to find my son posing the little teddy bears in a bowl with a blanket and telling them to “Say cheese!” My mama-business-owner heart is so full!!

Getting in the Picture: My Quarantine Self-Portraits with Grayson

Recently I shared a “Letter to All Moms: Please Get in the Picture!”. I talked about how important it is to make sure we document the fact that WE WERE THERE in our little one’s childhoods. In fact, we are often so “there” in their daily lives that we never have any pictures to prove it!

I get it. I truly do! During Grayson’s first year I had only a handful of photos of me with my baby. There was nothing I ever wanted more in life than to be a mom, and I spent my days documenting everyone else’s motherhood, but I barely had any photos of my own experience with my baby.

So I set out to change that.

I took an online course in self-portraits. I purchased a tripod. I learned how to use the interval timer on my camera, and how to nail the focus when looking through my lens at the empty spot on the floor (or chair, or steps) where I would be. I joined online communities for inspiration & encouragement. I started sharing these photos, talking with other moms, and holding each other accountable for getting in the picture more often so that our babies would have memories to look back on one day, and so that we could look back on this stage of motherhood 20 years from now and remember what it felt like when our littles held our hands, sat on our laps, and curled up close to us.

And I am so glad I did!

During the coronavirus quarantine I created many goals for myself, and one of them was to get in the frame more with my little boy. I wanted to capture our daily lives. At the beginning of quarantine, we spent a lot of time indoors because it was so cold and rainy outside. This giant cardboard box became a reading nook, a hiding place, a soccer goal, a train car. So we got inside for a few photos!

Grayson’s room is the one room in the house that gets the BEST LIGHT all day long. I especially love the way the light streams through the windows in the mornings. We always cuddle up in this chair to read three books before nap and before bed, plus many more books throughout the day. Our little guy loves books! So of course that was something I wanted to document, too! Plus, look at him with his little purple ball! He always finds a ball to hold!

We have spent soooooo much time outside in the yard. He helped me with yardwork in the early spring, trying to “rake” leaves with his tiny snow shovel, and picking up stray sticks to put them in a pile. Then we started gardening, planting flowers, watering flowers, and planting tomatoes & strawberries. I do not have a green thumb, but every year I wish I did! So we’re trying it out, and he’s getting so excited to watch everything grow! Plus, he discovered that he really likes to play in the dirt — even though he hates being messy!

We have baked SO MANY THINGS during quarantine! I’ve always loved to bake, and he has been my little helper in the kitchen since very early on. We made him a learning ladder/stool when he turned one, and he has been standing and helping at the counter ever since! He especially enjoys baking, and he gets so excited and yells “Yayyyy! Baking! My favorite!” whenever it’s time to bake, running into the kitchen and climbing right up on his stool.

I wanted to document our baking adventures, but our little baking corner of the kitchen is so dark and narrow, so I moved everything to the table where we get great light through the patio doors. Grayson helped me scoop and measure. He can name and identify all of the ingredients, and he counts the eggs when passing them to me. Somehow we haven’t broken a single egg yet, but I’m just waiting for the day we have gooey egg dripping down the side of the bowl!

Another realization in this self-portrait process?
Apparently I own A LOT of striped shirts!!!

The official taste tester in the Starr household! He takes his job very seriously!

You don’t need anything fancy to get in the photos more with your own kids. Set your phone up on the counter and press the timer, then run into the frame and love on your kids. Hand your camera off to your partner and ask them to snap a few photos of you doing something you love with your kids.

Just get in the picture. You will treasure these memories forever!

Grayson Turns Two! A School Bus Cake Smash for My Little Guy

My sweet little boy turned TWO this month, and I still can’t believe it!

We celebrated with his favorite thing of all time — SCHOOL BUSES! Grayson is absolutely obsessed with school buses, and he points out every single bus we pass when we’re in the car. The hardest thing about the quarantine for him? There are no school buses on the roads, and he never gets to go out in the car, either! He’ll be so excited when he starts spotting them all over town in the fall again!

Grayson wore the cutest little outfit with suspenders and a bowtie, and I couldn’t even believe how much he smiled for the camera. Normally he’s hesitant around the camera, but he brought all of the grins and laughs this day. He dug right into his cake, which is the first time that has ever happened with him! I did three cake smashes for him last year (perks of being a photographer’s kid!) and he didn’t like the cake for any of them. But this time, he got out some big chunks, picked up the whole cake, and got a little bit messy!

This sweet boy is so full of personality, and it really shows! He loves being silly and making others laugh, and he really let that shine for his portraits. Love him so much!

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Grayson's Two Year Studio Portraits | Saratoga Springs Child Photographer

How did my sweet little boy turn TWO already?!?! The past two years have absolutely flown by, and while I thought Year 1 was fast, Year 2 sped by at warp speed!!

I remember that I captured so many studio portraits of Grayson during his first year. We did portraits every month, sometimes two or three times! But now in the second year it was such a challenge to find the time to bring this active toddler into the studio for portraits. I’m so glad that I captured these classic portraits just days before his second birthday. They showcase his sweet and curious personality, his wispy blonde hair, and those cute little toddler toes on feet that have become so strong from all of the walking and running he has learned to do this year!

A few things I always want to remember about my sweet boy at two years old.

• Grayson is obsessed with trucks and cars. He can identify every type of construction truck, mail truck, ambulance, police car, firetruck, school bus, city bus, and more. He could spend all day playing with his little trucks, driving them over roads we’ve made from cardboard, digging around in sand with his excavators, and pushing choo-choo trains on imaginary railroad tracks.

• He is OBSESSED with buses, especially school buses, and he points them out every time we’re in the car.

• He loves hugs and cuddles, especially “mama huds” (and yes, he says HUG as HUD, and it’s so cute!).

• He thinks that all eggs have baby dinosaurs inside. On Easter, he exclaimed “What’s hatching?? Baby dinosaur!” for every easter egg that he opened up. Sadly, there were no dinosaurs inside! Even when we’re baking, he’ll get so excited to crack an egg in the bowl, shout “Baby dinosaurrrr!!!!,” and then look in the bowl and see it’s just an egg and say, “Oh, no dinosaur. Just water.” And he’s always so disappointed!

• He gets so excited to FaceTime family and friends, and he always wants to hold the phone or put the phone in his fire truck to take it for a ride around the house.

• Somehow he learned all of his letters already, and he talks about “ABCs” all day long!

• He is currently obsessed with eating Cheerios with almond milk, and he’ll have multiple bowls for breakfast, and then try to have the same for lunch, too!

• He loves it when Grandma comes over to play with him, and he does a happy dance at the top of the stairs every time she walks in the door.

• He loves going for walks when he can just ride along in the stroller. He settles in, looks around, and gets into his happy place. He gets really quiet and relaxed, and every time I bend down to check on him he says “Grayson happy.”

• And my favorite thing? Whenever I say “I love you,” he always responds with “So much” and it just melts my heart!

I love you. So much.

You know, I started doing children’s portraits many years before I had a child of my own. I knew that one day I wanted to have beautiful portraits of my own little one, and I am so grateful that I’ll have these timeless photos of our sweet little toddler forever. Now it’s time to figure out which ones to print and hang in our home, and which ones to go into his yearly album!

Getting on the other side of the camera | Our Mommy & Me session with Sarah Zollo Portraits

I finally got on the other side of the camera with my sweet baby boy. And you know what? It was amazing, and this very first photo means everything to me.

I have been dreaming of this exact photo for months and months and months, and my heart is so happy to finally have this sweet little cuddle captured in a portrait.

As a mom who also happens to be a photographer, I spend my days capturing all of the little moments and the big love between families. I capture the cuddles, the kisses, and the sweet way their babies wrinkle their noses when they smile. The way they reach up to hold their daddy’s hand, and the way they curl up on their mama’s chest to feel their heartbeat.

But 12 months into being a mama, I barely had any photos of me with my baby boy. We did a beautiful Fresh 48 session when Grayson was born, and a few holiday photos last Christmas. But besides blurry cell phone photos, selfies, and a couple of times that I passed my camera to someone to take a (usually blurry or decapitated) photo with my son, that’s all I have from his first year.

I have taken so many amazing photos of my son with my husband, and I love every single one of them! It is so easy to capture their relationship, and I really love looking back through their photographs and seeing how Grayson has grown and watching that beautiful bond they have.

But any photos with me in them? Almost nonexistent. And this role as Grayson’s mama is my favorite role I have ever had, which is why it is soooooo important to me to capture this in photographs!

I started taking some self portraits this year of our day to day life at home because it was so important to me to capture this stage and have some beautiful portraits to show our son as he grows so that he can see how much we loved him and adored him when he was little.

What was really missing though was a mommy & me session. I truly wanted someone else to capture these moments for us, so I decided to get on the other side of the camera when I hired Sarah Zollo Portraits in Rhode Island for a session with my sweet baby boy.

And you guys!!!! These are my favorite photos ever! I love how Sarah captured his sweet little smile, the way he hugs my cheek, those pearly teeth peeking through on the bottom. She captured his sense of wonder and curiosity about the world, his joy, and how proud he is of himself of his new skills (standing supported and butt scooting across the floor!). She captured this easy love, and how crazy happy he makes me. She captured it all, and I will never stop being grateful for making this session a priority.

So, a few things I learned while being on the other side of the camera…

It was actually really hard to find the perfect outfits for our session! You’d think it’d be easy (I mean, really — all white can’t be that hard, right?), but for some reason nothing was out that seemed just right. In the end I loved this top, and I’m obsessed with the cute blue overalls that bring out his blue eyes. I wanted to keep it very simple without any patterns or bold colors because I wanted to focus on the connection between us and have super classic portraits that I will look at 40 years from now and melt into a puddle of tears when I look at my baby boy. And these are those!

Also, photo shoot day really never goes as planned. Of course Grayson couldn’t fall asleep the night before, and while he normally falls asleep within minutes, he took 1.5 hours to fall asleep. And the morning of his session he almost boycotted his nap, too! But we made it there on time and I had a happy baby once I put his favorite song on (at the moment, it’s “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys because of the “bababa-babarbara ann” babbling part!).

When you’re caught up in the moment being a mom, you forget about things like the best angle or what might look funny on camera. You’re just focused on making your baby happy and getting him to laugh. Thankfully I had a photographer AND her assistant there to guide us and keep everything flowing naturally and beautifully. I didn’t have to point to the camera or try and get him to look their way because they were singing, dancing, and waving toys around to keep his attention and to turn those blue eyes towards the camera.

And finally, I understand how excited you guys are for the sneak peek and the gallery reveal! It was the best feeling ever when I saw these photos for the first time and when I saw how someone else sees this mother-son love. I have never seen it like that before, and it’s really amazing to be able to step back and look at this magic from another perspective.

I truly do believe that EVERYONE deserves mommy & baby portraits (or mommy & child, whatever the age!). I will definitely be making it a priority to capture this magic on camera more often with my own baby boy, and I can’t wait to offer more of these types of sessions to mamas, too.

Sarah, a huge thank you for capturing motherhood so beautifully. I love these so much, and I am incredibly grateful.

Photos by www.sarahzollo.com

Baby Starr | A Llama Cake Smash for Grayson

Jeff and I have shared an inside joke about llamas for as long as I can remember. I think it was one of the very first weekends that we were dating when we were walking around downtown Saratoga Springs, and we saw a llama standing on the sidewalk poking its head into the windows of a bar and leaning over a table inside of the restaurant. Ever since we have spent years worth of scavenger hunts with a bonus llama category that would give us extra points.

Our family knew the llama story, so Grayson received a few gifts this year that were llama related. He has a llama for his crib, and his favorite books are the Llama Llama series — he gets so animated every time we open these books and he puts his hand down to stop turning the page so that he can really enjoy what he sees, pointing and babbling to the llamas in front of him.

So it was only natural that we did a llama cake smash with our little guy! (Who, by the way, I still can’t believe is ONE!! Where did this year disappear to?!?!)

This adorable llama cake lasted all of 25 seconds because our son is in a fun new stage of “I must knock everything over!!” The cake fell upside down off the cake stand TWICE within the first 3 minutes of his cake smash. He’s a talented little smasher!

There he is contemplating the very best way to get the cake off of the cake stand!

I will never grow tired of photographing little baby feet! His feet are already turning into muscular and lean toddler feet, and he’s losing the squishy padding that he used to have beneath his toes. Stop growing up so fast, baby boy!

The sad face was when I took away his wooden spoon! This boy loves to feed himself and he is obsessed with spoons!

Of course we finished up with a bathtub splash, and Grayson LOVED tubby time! His favorite song for bath time is “Splish Splash (I was taking a bath)”, so once it came on he was giggling and splashing all over the place.

My sweet boy! I love you so much, and I can’t believe that we just finished your first birthday cake smash! Where did this year go?!?!

Baby Starr | My Favorite Portraits from Grayson's First Year

Grayson turns one on Wednesday. This has been the fastest and most amazing year of my life, and it’s definitely been the year that I have taken the most personal photos! I’m so glad that I made myself commit to a monthly photo project with Grayson. It’s been amazing watching him grow, and even on the craziest and busiest months it was nice to slow down and document our little guy.

This week is going to be one big trip down memory lane, and we’re starting it off with a post filled with all of my favorite portraits of our sweet baby boy!

I keep looking at the calendar and saying, “One year ago we were getting the call from the doctor to go in for an induction,” and “One year ago we were in the hospital and this was happening,” and “One year ago…”

It’s incredible how much has happened in one year!

Our sweet baby boy arrived 17 days before his due date, and he was perfect with sleepy eyes, the creamiest skin, and fluffy blonde hair!

Grayson’s Fresh 48 portraits were taken at Glens Falls Hospital by the talented Lauren Kirkham Photography.

It took me three tries in the studio to do my own son’s newborn portraits. He was so difficult to settle, and he jumped with every single click of the shutter on my camera. It’s funny to see how different he looks from one newborn portrait to the next because you can really tell which ones he had gained some weight in because they were taken a week after the first ones!

My first Mother’s Day! Gosh, he was so little then!

We really do have the happiest little guy! Even when he was just a few months old he was all smiles for the camera, and all smiles when we put it away, too! I just love his personality and I’m so grateful that we have a baby who is so filled with JOY.

Six months old and sitting up on his own! Little did we know that he would spend MONTHS sitting without moving on to the next physical milestone (crawling). Now at one year old, he is finally starting to butt-scoot!

This boy LOVES books, and he loves putting everything in his mouth! A few of his books have bite marks and chunks missing! Favorite titles this year are:
There’s a Bear in My Chair
Fox in Socks
Ten in the Bed
The Pout Pout Fish
Llama Llama — all of this series!

Grayson and I took these self portraits when he was 37 weeks and 4 days old — the same amount of time that he was inside of me for!

All of our holidays this year…

He sleeps with this elephant, and he knows that this toy is for naptime and bedtime. It’s so sweet how it’s always in his arms when he is in his crib. He hugs it, uses it like a pillow, and tosses it across his face to block the light. The elephant is never more than a few inches from him when he’s asleep!

This lucky boy spent a lot of time dog-sitting Bailey this year, and he is officially obsessed with this (very tolerant and gentle) dog! His first word came at 11.5 months — DOG/DOGGIE!

Those thighs! He’s slimming out now that he’s moving around more, and I already miss those rolls on his legs!

I’ll be sharing a few very special posts this week, along with his cake smash and updated 12 month portraits! More to come soon!

Baby Starr | Peekaboo! A Simple White Studio Session with a Blanket

Grayson gets more expressive by the day, and these 9-month portraits are some of my favorites from the year so far! He received this handmade blanket as a gift at our baby shower, and he had so much fun playing peek-a-boo on the bed in our studio.

Grayson has two bottom teeth, and he has started doing a little crooked smile to show them off. It’s so cute!

This month he also started doing an adorable head tilt when looking up at us, and I am so happy I captured that on camera. This portrait is definitely going up on the wall!

Rolls upon rolls upon rolls! At 22 pounds, there is so much squish to love and kiss on our little guy! I can’t even decide which I love more — the arm rolls or those LEGS!

Merry Christmas from Baby Starr | Grayson's Gingerbread House Smash

A few things I’ve learned as a photographer and now first-time mom this year…

Before having a baby I said that I would have a million photoshoots of Grayson this year. My husband joked throughout the pregnancy that he was putting a limit on how many photos I could take of the baby. One thousand photos… PER DAY. ;o) I remember saving a few ideas last Christmas and thinking I would love to do so many of them next December when our little guy was here.

And then I had a baby. Once I went back to work and started juggling work & a baby, I realized that if I didn’t carve out time for documenting my son’s first year it wouldn’t happen. So I started putting it on the calendar and I am so glad I did! Grayson’s first holiday photo shoot is one of my favorites that I have done with him this year, and I am so excited to share it here on the blog!

Of course it was going to be clean & simple with a very minimalistic look. I adore stripes, and the majority of my closet AND Grayson’s closet is stripes. So Jeff and I picked out this cute red and white striped pajama set for our little guy’s portraits, and I chose a few bottle brush trees for the decor. The gingerbread house was enough to add some color and make it all come together!

Confession: I had never made a gingerbread house before this one! I scoured Pinterest for ideas and found out that they can really get quite intricate. I stayed up late decorating this little house and listening to holiday music with a Christmas candle burning on the counter. It was one of my favorite nights so far this holiday season! Now I think that gingerbread houses are going to have to become a holiday tradition as our son grows and can start adding his own creative confections to the houses!

Grayson loved his little gingerbread house smash — even though there wasn’t much smashing that happened because that icing held everything together like cement! He also loved practicing his new favorite skill — blowing raspberries and making us laugh!

He’s my favorite little elf.

Baby Starr | Grayson's Fifth Month

Time is flying by, and our sweet baby boy is already five months old!  Each day Grayson grows a little more into his amazing personality, those chunky thighs, and those two very expressive eyebrows!

We have been working so hard on tummy time this month, but our little man has decided he would much rather skip tummy time and go straight to sitting up on his own!  After weeks of sitting on our laps, we tried him out on his mattress without any support last week, and he surprised us by keeping his balance for much longer than we imagined he would!  There have been a few head bumps since, and maybe a face plant or two, but he is LOVING this new perspective! 

His favorite game is sitting in his crib and looking at us through the slats in the crib bars, and when we move to a new angle or up above the railing he follows us with his eyes and starts laughing hysterically.  It's adorable!

Speaking of adorable....  I had way too many favorite photos this month, so we're just going to fill the blog up with all of these cute Grayson moments!

Doesn't he look like he's reaching out for a hug in this one?

He hasn't found his toes yet, but I know that's coming next and I'm sure by next month he'll be playing with his feet non-stop, and even getting those little toes into his mouth.  For now, he is 100% about kicking his legs -- in his stroller, on the floor, while swaddled in his bed.  Those legs are pumping up and down all day long, and he gets so excited about it that he lets out happy shrieks.

This month Grayson spent another week on the Cape with me, and he got in lots of walks to the beach.  He enjoyed so much family time with a full house on the Cape, playing with his cousins Natalie & Nathaniel, snuggling up with my cousin Kori (who put him to sleep every time with her cozy hugs!), and walking up and down the street with Grandma to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine any time he got fussy.

We went to visit Daddy at work, and Grayson dressed up in his little suit to match Dad.  Everyone fell right in love with this little guy!

We had a lot of visitors this month!  We started off with Auntie Kirsten & Uncle Dave, and Grayson pretty much charmed their socks off.  My personal favorite part of the visit was when Dave asked, "Wait, so you haven't had 6 consecutive hours of sleep since April?!?!"  And Jeff chimed in that it was likely more like since December!   ;o)  

Travers Weekend has always been a special weekend for me & Jeff, and we don't even go to the track!  It's always the last weekend of the summer that we love enjoying downtown Saratoga Springs, and it happens to be the very first weekend we ever got together in 2012 when we started dating.  This year our little man put on his most dapper outfit and hat and charmed all of the ladies downtown.  

Then our friend Wendy came to visit with Addie (6) and Zack (8).  This was the highlight of Grayson's month and he looooooved watching these two kids.  Zack was obsessed with Grayson and kept asking me when he could give him a bath, so of course we sudsed right up on the kitchen counter and played "Splish Splash" on the radio.  We had many playground adventures, enjoyed lots of cuddles on the couch with Addie reading books to the boys, and got in lots of snuggles with Wendy every chance he got. 

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A few milestones this month...

• Baby G, you've discovered your voice!  You babble nonstop, and you've recently discovered this fun little shriek that you enjoy making over and over again.  Your face lights up when you "talk", and it's really amazing to watch and listen to.
   
• You've graduated to a "big boy stroller", and you no longer need the car seat in the stroller when we go for walks.  Of course, you're very excited about this new perspective and your legs kick like crazy when we're out and about now.
   
• We're still waiting for teeth, and those hands are constantly in your month.  You grab anything you can reach to put it in there and chomp down -- our fingers, my wrist, our water bottles, your toys.  Nothing is out of your reach!
   
• You went to your first wedding!  Katie McIntosh & Jeff Torch got married in central NY, and you came to the ceremony.  We were excited that you were asleep in the pews, and we thought we were sooooo lucky that you would sleep the whole time.  We jinxed it, and you woke up right in time to start babbling during the vows.  
   
• We started taking you to a chiropractor to help with your (lack of) sleep and your (excessive) reflux.  You loooooove visiting her, and you get so calm and smiley in her office.  Now let's keep crossing those fingers that this works because we are desperate for sleep and clean clothes!

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And some of our favorite cell phone shots from Grayson's Fifth Month!

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Watch him grow!

Grayson's Newborn Photos
Grayson's First Month
Grayson's Second Month
Grayson's Third Month
Grayson's Fourth Month

Baby Starr | Grayson's Fourth Month

I can't believe that our little baby boy is now FOUR MONTHS OLD!  

Grayson, you charm us every single day with your sweet personality, your bubbly laugh, and those round rosy cheeks that we seriously can't help but squish and kiss all day long!  

Your personality is coming out more each day, and you really are a chill, mellow, happy baby who loves to relax.  You're very observant and you take in everything around you through those bright blue eyes of yours, and now you're starting to interact with your surroundings more now that you've discovered all the cool things you can do with those hands & feet that, as it turns out, ARE ATTACHED TO YOUR BODY!  Seriously, that was the best discovery ever for you when you realized you could make things happen simply by waving your hand through the air!

You've become a super vocal baby, and you're always testing out new sounds when we leave you by yourself on your play mat or in your crib.  It's not uncommon to hear a sudden "Whooooaaaa!" emerge from your corner of the room, and all sorts of little shrieks. 

You love "talking" to anyone that will talk back to you, and the cutest thing ever this month was when you sat on Grandpa Schwalm's lap and talked so earnestly to him, back and forth with a whole little conversation between the two of you!  You're so earnest when you're talking, and you pause for us to answer and ask you questions, and your whole face lights up as you babble away.  These photos below are a few of your "talking faces".  ;o)  

You and I spent two weeks on Cape Cod visiting Grandma & Grandpa Schwalm in July.  You were a pro road tripper, and that 5 hour drive was no big deal to you, little man!  It was a pretty big adjustment for you to learn to sleep in a new space (we're still recovering from that one!), but you loved all of the extra cuddles and play time with your grandparents, plenty of fresh air, and you got to see the ocean for the first time!  (Though, the first two visits to the ocean you passed out the second you heard those waves, so you didn't actually "see" it until your third trip there.  Must be all those ocean sounds we listen to at night and during nap time to help you fall asleep -- they really work!!)

This month Daddy taught you how to stick out your tongue as a little game when you're on the changing table, and now you want to do it all the time.  It's pretty adorable.  You're also teething, and while no teeth have poked through yet, you drool like crazy and everything you find goes straight into your mouth.  Your favorite are my fingers, and you've gotten pretty good at chomping on them to massage those little gums of yours.

We've been working hard on tummy time, and while you're not the biggest fan, you've started trying to wiggle out of it.  Most babies roll.  You choose to inch forwards and sideways while on your tummy, as if you can just skip this whole tummy time thing and go straight to crawling.  Slow down, baby boy!

You adore your dad, and your face lights up every afternoon when he comes home from work.  You have the biggest smile just for him, and you're always cuddling up close to him.  You've even started to let him put you to bed at night, which is a nice little treat for you & for me!    Everyone says you look just like your dad, and you're really his little mini-me.  Lucky me, I get to share my house with the two most handsome guys!

This is the smile you give us when we say "I love you."

You really do light up our lives.  Love you lots, little man.

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A few of your firsts this month:

• The big one for you is that you've discovered how awesome sitting upright is. You're still too little to sit on your own, but you love when we pull you up and support you on our laps (or on a table, the floor, the bed -- anywhere that puts your head above your legs!).  You get the biggest smile, and when we hold both your hands you even start to pull yourself up to sit to show us that you want to go up.  
   
• You met Nana for the first time.  She's 91 years old, and she loved getting to cuddle her newest great-grandson, and show you off to everyone that lives in the retirement home with her!
   
• Your first trip to Cape Cod was a success!  We went to mommy's favorite beaches in Dennisport, the ice cream shop where she used to work, and met up with a few friends while on the Cape, too!
   
• You had your first (two!) visits to Urgent Care, where they misdiagnosed conjunctivitis both times.  Oh well!  You're a trooper, little man!
   
• You also had your first official diaper blowout... All over mommy's lap.  It was followed by a string of funny texts to dad letting him know what had happened, including an "Omg!  It's still coming out!  I'm afraid to stand up now!"  Daddy of course said, "Good job, buddy!"
   
• You also had your first trip to the Saratoga County Fair!  You loved the colors and the sounds, but eventually you fell asleep before we made it back to the car.  Mom & Dad's priorities?  Fried dough, play a carnival game, win a toy for the baby.  But really, fried dough.

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Some of our favorite cell phone photos this month...

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Watch him grow!

Grayson's Newborn Portraits
Grayson's First Month
Grayson's Second Month
Grayson's Third Month

Baby Starr | Grayson's Third Month

Oh, Grayson — we’re three months in!  It’s hard to believe that you are now thirteen weeks, or three months old!  I think we officially need to stop counting weeks and just count the months now because mama is so tired it’s hard to even keep track of what day it is anymore.  

BUT, you are one cute baby and full of smiles!  You're getting really expressive now, and it's so fun to watch.

You continue to make us laugh every single day.  You still have a pretty happy personality, and we can’t stop saying how lucky we are to have such an amazing and easy-going baby.  

You wake up from nap time and you look around your bed and make a few cooing noises, and when you spot my face looking down at you YOU JUST LIGHT UP with the biggest (toothless) smile.  Daddy came home from work last night and the second you spotted him you couldn't take your eyes off of him.  And that toothless smile was so big!  (Though we don’t think you’ll be toothless for long because you are drooling like crazy and we’ve got the feeling that first tooth will be here in the next few months.)  You start chattering like crazy and kicking those legs all over the place, so excited to see your mama and daddy.  It’s the sweetest thing!  We talk back, and you reply, and you really seem to think we’re having an actual conversation because we just go on and on, and you’re as happy as can be!

Tomorrow you're celebrating your first 4th of July, so of course we had to do a picture!

This month we celebrated Daddy’s first Father’s Day.  Your dad is so good with you, and I love watching the two of you together.  He has all of these little games and jokes with you, and the two of you are going to have so much fun as you grow up.  Daddy started flying you up in the air like Superman, and you love being able to see your home from this new angle.  There is so much to take in, and you want to see it all!

You love cuddles, and you’ve fallen asleep in Grandma’s arms more than once when she’s been watching you.  You sleep more soundly there than you do in your own bed!  You also got to meet your Auntie Kirsten this month.  It was love at first sight, and you gave her all of your biggest smiles!  We know you're already looking forward to seeing her again later this summer!

You still absolutely love your swaddle for naps, and once we put on the ocean noises in our bedroom you fall right asleep.  I am so excited to take you to Grandma & Grandpa Schwalm’s house on the Cape in a few weeks so that you can see the real ocean and hear what it sounds like!  Then you’ll be like, “Uhhhh, mom? These aren’t ocean sounds!  What’s that about?!?!”

Your new thing this month is that you have discovered your hands.  You play with the hanging toys on your playmat, and you have the proudest smile when you realize that you made them move with your hands.  You stick them in your mouth and make the loudest sucking noises as you chomp on them, too.  The first time you did that I think you startled yourself, but you’re slowly getting a bit gentler when gnawing on your own fingers. 

Another favorite spot for you is laying in your crib (which you don’t sleep in yet, but you love to hang out there!).  Hanging above your head is a mobile with stars on it, and you get so excited to look up and see them hanging and twirling above your head.  You coo, reach out your arms, and kick your legs excitedly when you see the stars.  I think you’re going to love your bedroom when it’s finally time for you to sleep there!

Now that summer is here, we're doing all of the fun summery things together!  Walking around Congress Park to look at the ducklings, taking your bathtub outside and turning it into a baby swimming pool, and going on lots of walks in the sunshine.  You really love being outside in the baby carrier and snuggling in close, and it's one of my favorite activities to do with you!

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A few of your favorite things this month...

• Dancing with mommy & daddy in the kitchen

• Staring at your crib mobile

• Playdates with your buddy John

• Naps

• Kicking your legs, and discovering what your hands can do

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And of course, we have so many photos on our cell phones of our sweet little Grayson this month!  Sleeping, playing, eating, and smiling seem to be all of his favorite activities!

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Watch him grow!

Grayson's Newborn Portraits
Grayson's First Month
Grayson's Second Month

Baby Starr | Grayson's Second Month

Oh my goodness, Grayson!  How are you two months old already?!?!  Time is truly flying by, and I can’t believe how fast you’re growing and changing every day.

I look back at your one month photos (and your newborn photos!) and I find it hard to believe you were that tiny…. or maybe it’s hard to believe that you’re so big already?  Where did the itty bitty 5 lb 15 oz baby go that curled up on my chest with wide cheekbones, a narrow chin, and loose skin hanging around his knees?  In his place is a long baby with the cutest cheeks who loves to exercise those leg muscles and “stand up” when I lay him on my chest, straightening those little legs to lift his body in the air.  Oh, and the most adorable chunky thighs that I can no longer wrap my fingers around!

You continue to make us laugh every single day, mostly with the strange and often loud noises that come out of your body!  This month I realized just what a loud eater you are while feeding you in the dressing room at Target for the first time — so many grunts and so much lip smacking that the other shoppers must have wondered what was behind that red dressing room door!  

I’ll also remember your second month as the month FILLED with smiles. You smile intentionally now, and your happiest time of day is in the morning after you wake up (for the second time).  We lay on the bed cooing, making silly faces, and cuddling.  In the last week or two you’ve started to love getting kisses, and when I cover your face in kisses you light up with the biggest smile.  You haven’t laughed yet, but I know that’s coming next!

You’re officially out of newborn size clothing, and filling out those 0-3 month outfits pretty quickly!  You spit up on everything (notice the bibs in these pictures?!) and have you so many outfit changes each day that we’re definitely getting good use out of all your clothes before we’ll have to pack them up when you outgrow them!  At your 2-month checkup you were 22.5 inches long and weighed 11.2 pounds.  You’ve grown 4 inches since birth, and nearly doubled your weight!

Ohhhhh, those chunky thighs!!!!  

You learned how to stick out your tongue this month.  You've started doing that mostly when I give you kisses!

This month was a big month for you as you spent a lot of time out & about around Saratoga Springs.  We went on countless walks with your new friend, Baby John, who was born only two weeks before you.  We visited Gaffney’s and took a family photo underneath the tree where Mommy & Daddy got married three years ago.  You enjoyed your first trip to the Farmer’s Market, and spent Mother’s Day walking around town looking for the baby ducklings in Congress Park.  You’re starting to love outdoor time, and it’s so nice getting to spend some time with you in the fresh air.  

This was from our first Mother's Day:

But our favorite part of the month....  you slept through the night for the first time!  It's definitely NOT consistent yet, but you're getting better and better at night and you love the new swaddle we wrap you up in so that you're nice & snug.

A few of your favorite things this month:

• Bathtime
• “Say Something” by Justin Timberlake — it literally calms you down within seconds every time you’re crying.
• Kisses
• Walks around town in your baby carrier
• Car rides

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And a few of our favorite cell phone pictures from this month!  Notice that all of a sudden you're wearing an awful lot of bibs to catch all of that spit up.  ;o)